I hate computers

I have this love hate thing with computers. I'm a former part-time geek, a geek on the wagon, whatever. I have played with Mac computers for a long time and ended up making a career with them in graphic design in the 80's and 90s. My first husband is a consultant so I have a pretty good working knowledge of them and still think new things are cool. And I appreciate all that technology and computers do to add to my life experience, as I do cars, getting me from place to place with relative ease. But like cars, when things fuck up, I despise them, abhor then and wish I'd never known about them.

My iPhoto program is fucking up and had recently started hanging. The problem is it contains my entire art image database and my Adaptation book template. It also organizes all of my home photos. So when it fucks up, I get pissy and it puts the brakes on everything, including updates on this blog. However, I have managed a small fix, I think. So far. So we'll try not to stare at it too long , lest it decide to fuck up again. Reminds me, I need to back up.

Above is the new studio space complete with ceiling, wall, door, window, upgraded electric and new coat of paint. The enclosed space will allow me to regulate the inside temp thus allowing me to work year round. So time to finish up the details, move all my shit back in and get to work.

Work, work, work

Drinking Cup $18.00
Some goings on...
Finishing up the details of the studio, lighting, inside wiring, shelves, figuring out where to put everything..
Getting ready for a show at the end of the month, entering a few other shows and getting some proposals together with my fellow artist, Crimson Duvall.
And in the mean time, in this hot sweltering weather, I am making some more drinking cups that will be up on Etsy within a few weeks like the ones in my shop at the moment.

In other news...

The electric is getting upgraded today. This makes me excited. While I have been in major transition, I have been sketching and planning and making some decisions. I will be upgrading and organizing my Etsy site in the next few months. I will also be in Chattanooga in the next few weeks for my first, post BFA, non-Kentucky opening at a venue called The Association for Visual Arts! Woo! And I will be making some changes to my website to add the Adaptation show and showcase that. I beat myself up too much. I do make progress but it's hard to see until you stop and look back at where you've been.

Block

Grounded Flight
Stoneware, cone 6 oxidation, glazes, slips, osage orange thorns, cedar branches, barn board
Each piece approx.: 9"w x 5"h x 6"d, Approx. 20" across both pieces

I have this weird psychological issue. Well, maybe it isn't that weird but it certainly bugs the shit out of me on a regular basis. It is this: I am uncomfortable exercising my artistic abilities. In other words, even if I have some ideas I wish to execute, I routinely feel that actually making art is somehow "goofing off" and being irresponsible. I will go out of my way to procrastinate until some other "obligation" comes up to prevent me from simply making work. It's like I don't feel I have any value or worth unless I'm doing something for someone else. I enjoy making shit and stepping back and seeing how it all turned out, but I view that as a selfish act not to be indulged. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Grounded Flight is a metaphor for the desire to fly and be free of this and the prickly, clumsy, wooden things that keep me from cutting myself loose. It's not that I have a hate relationship with home and family, but I do not have a smooth, guilt-free relationship with them either.

Some beliefs about oneself have been taught and ingrained from such a young age, it is gruesome and exhausting to undo the effects. It always reminds me of Dali's Andalusian Dog film. I feel like the fellow dragging the donkey, piano, furniture and all the other items behind me. I am on my path and, truth is, have always been, but I still feel like I am dragging so much baggage. It's just a mental hangover. I need to let it go.