Sunday, October 18, 2009


Hallowe'en wood and salt firing. Looking forward to it. I hope we get some good pieces out of the kilns :)


Facing my fears head on has been the only way I have ever overcome anything. God knows I've tried running away from things all my life but until I made the biggest mistake of my life and could no longer run away from the consequences, I never appreciated that the key to dealing with life is to deal with it. If you fear the worst, relax and let it happen.

I ran down to the second barn on my property just now, to feed the horses a flake of hay and give myself an excuse to run around outside under the stars. There is no moon just lots and lots of stars. As I've been getting older, my night vision gets worse so it took me a while to adjust to the darkness and yet I walked down, down to the second barn, no lights, bad vision, only the stars and my memory to keep me on the right track. And I thought, when I was younger, I never would have done this. I would have imagined the boogeyman, Bigfoot, vampires, spectres, things to creep me out, and it all would have prevented me from running down to the barn and feeding my big, four-hoofed dogs. What is fear but, 90% of the time, our imagination? Or what we imagine will go wrong, what we imagine will jump out and eat us? It's all in our head. My dog was walking with me. He was fine. He was not perturbed. So why should I be? Take the cue from the dog.

We market in fear, in western, modern media. Watch the news. See how every story is manufactured to alarm, surprise, make us fearful. Nothing is meant to inform us, as if we were rational mature beings, only scare us. Scare the tiny child within.

Face your fears. Face them square on and crush them to pieces. 90% of them are nothing but bullies anyway.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Field of genitalia

What if you could grow genitalia? Like a field of vaginas underfoot or penis flowers as tall as sunflowers? What happens to the old ones? Do they get buried in the ground like seeds fallen from trees? Do they wilt and droop? All of nature is sexual. Including us. Interchangeable parts.


The process of adjustment is slow and evolving. I am in such a place right now. I suspect that we process change in multiple ways and often our intellectual races ahead of the emotional and physical. And then sometimes that goes backwards. I feel like I've spent the last year, at least, in a perpetual state of constant low trauma. No car accident, no flooding, no earthquake and habitat destruction in an instant but a persistent, consistent deterioration of "Life as we used to live it." What was, had definitively changed. What was going to be, was unknown. Things had changed and couldn't go back but I didn't know where they were headed. No comfort zone. Alarm, panic but control over the panic. Strategy about how to deal with all sorts of possible futures always in the front of my mind which left me with little energy to, well, let myself be. As if I had become "Me In Crisis" all the time. It became my persona.

Things have stabilized and there is some security and yet, because I've been living in a state of heightened awareness and readiness to act, I can't let go and feel secure. I am afraid to let myself not be "Me In Crisis." I bounce about. I try to keep some discipline as a structure so I can adjust but the moments in between the structure are wrought with depression, lethargy, disinterest, frustration, irritability, confusion and then, suddenly, clarity followed by emptiness. This is the process of change. These are the remnants of panic and alarm. Over time, they will dissipate. Sit and observe. Then do. The process can't be rushed. This, too, shall pass.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Crossing a line

A subject came up recently on a social networking site I belong to and on a related subject on a blog I read. And it has to do with wanting or wishing violence or death or ill-will on someone, a public figure, an anonymous commenter, someone whose opinion is diametrically opposed to theirs. Right now, we have giant media megaphones like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh making hyperbolic claims and proclamations of opinion advocating revolution and rebellion, which, in of itself, is benign - until you get regular non-media people showing up to protest rallies and presidential speeches with loaded weapons and in some cases concealed, loaded weapons. Without commenting on the stupidity and idiocy of doing such a thing (and leave off the 2nd amendment crap, just because you can, doesn't mean you should), watching the temperature escalate where impending domestic political violence seems just around the corner has prompted some people to begin wishing the same fate on those who, well, started the whole spiral. Rush Limbaugh should die. Glenn Beck should die. And so on. But think about it. Do you really want people to die? What are you saying when you drop your opinion of death to assholes like Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity, the entire Fox News crew and all the minions who follow? Isn't it really just an indication that they've managed to get under your skin, piss you off, make you mad? Wishing someone dead is not the same as really the reality of that happening. What comes around goes around. Having had some experience with people who are really, really good at getting under your skin and making you wish things that are out of character for you, better to be smart, be aware but ignore their blatherings as best you can. That doesn't mean you ignore it if someone really is carrying a gun, seems a little hostile and out of whack and shows signs that they are dangerous, but sometimes people who have ideas that are very insignificant and who are tremendously insecure are simply looking for attention. Or ratings.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Go Here Now

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.


We do so much just to make ourselves feel better and then try to add meaning to it as if to convince that we're "making a difference." News item locally about a "candlelight vigil" for a teen that was shot and killed a few days ago. I hesitate to comment but it does make me wonder about the superficiality of things like this. Why a candlelight vigil? What purpose does it serve but a public display of "We really cared about __________."? And isn't that display for the benefit of other living people to show that you're "in" with the "in" crowd? If you don't attend the vigil, does that make you an insensitive person to the plight of those "honored?" If the vigil garners only a few people, is that an indication of how little the fallen one was loved? If the vigil turns out hundreds and thousands of candle-holding participants, does that make the person "really" popular, even in death? Love it, a popularity contest for the deceased.

People don't question certain rituals and whether or not they have any meaning. They just do them, blindly. Like the pigeon dance. I guess it's my biggest beef with organized religion in general, the empty meaningless ritual and the heavy, guilt-laden obligation to perform that motivates it.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Friday, September 11, 2009


Peace to all affected by this day.

Data is Nature

Most interesting site:

Image from Goldenwood Shores - Ross Racine & Non-standard musical notation - Strangetractor
Link on

Sunday, August 30, 2009

In the works...

After I'm done doing nothing, these things are in the works:
  • Writing a grant for a fine art project for 2010.
  • Working on organizing and coordinating the EKU Student sale for the '09-'10 school year.
  • Gathering more items to list on Etsy.
  • Making more clay items including pinch pot mugs and soap dishes.
  • Developing ideas for clay pendant jewelry.
  • Working on my Christmas ornament items.
I'm a big doer of things Christmas. Don't know why but I cannot let the holiday go by without throwing out a card idea or an ornament of some kind. I've done it every year for the last 10 so why stop now? I will be listing ornaments on Etsy within the month of September, hopefully.

What if I did nothing?

It's not uncommon for me to feel, as some people do, that when faced with a choice of action in life, one must do something. I must paint the wall blue or red. I must work in clay today and then paint until the evening. I must choose between functional work, craft or pure conceptual artistic expression. I must register Democratic or Republican party. I must like cats or dogs. I must move my ass now and eat breakfast in the morning or...

...or what? What if, instead, I did nothing? When a decision had to be made, what if I opted to choose nothing and to let the moment pass? What if I observed the moment free from my active influence? What if the wall stayed white? What if I read a book about silliness instead of working in either clay or paint? What if I did all forms of art, functional, craft and conceptual? What if I'm registered as an Independent? What if I like both cats and dogs? And ferrets? And katydids? And what if I did nothing and had cookies for breakfast and cereal for a snack? The world doesn't end. Not only that, it continues to function as if I never existed.

What freedom!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Morning Coffee

I prefer my coffee when it's brown, smells like fresh roasted, coffee and has a coffee-like taste. Big disappointment this morning when the pot was full of hot, clear water. No beans! D'oh!